and yet I let it get to me anyway.
I just watched the first season of Slings and Arrows, a show about Actors and Theater and Hamlet and all those wonderful cliches that dramafolk love to surround themselves with. I lasted on my high horse of disdainful amusement for all of one and a half episodes, after which I realized something. I am not kidding anyone- I'm a theater kid. I've told myself that I just appreciate the text, or that I just like the confidence boost of being on stage, or that I just like the people I've met. I've told myself that the Bathhouse isn't like normal theaters (which is true, but not in that way), that I could be in theater there without being a theater person. These, while perhaps all true to an extent, are all squares in the quilt of my own self-delusion- I am a theater person. Perhaps not an actor (actechector?), but good grief am I a theater person. Watching a show about theater made me feel more longing to do theater in the past few hours than I have to be home in the last month (almost) that I've been up here. I want to get a script and make connections with scene-partners and make audiences laugh and have that moment 5 seconds before my first entrance when I realize that all of this is actually happening and get the biggest hit of adrenaline my body can provide. Frankly, though, I'd settle for just being in the bathhouse, even if I'm only teching or assistant directing. It's like I've only just realized that my left arm was cut off a few weeks ago
I also have come to another realization- Hamlet is the most awesome part I will never, ever get. But damn, can I ever dream of it someday. Holy crap. Polonius? Polonius is fine- good, even great. A very fun part. But if I ever get the chance to do that play again, I know who I'm gunning for, even if the odds are slim to none.
Home soon! Yippy!
1 comment:
you, my dear, would be an awesome Hamlet. Don't doubt yourself.
but, I must say that I loved playing Hamlet to your Polonius.
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