And then suddenly, in a fit of emotions and activity

Macbeth was over. Two amazing performances, a wild, crazy, difficult, awkward, wonderful cast party and suddenly my days are free and my weekends free-er. No more witches witching, no more killing Young Siward or getting killed by MacDuff, no more Lady MacBeth tempting me to murder, no more Malcom raising my sword, no more assassinations or Blood Boltered Banquos or screaming children or awkward speaches to the king or getting to demand "blood me!" or anything. It's all done, a thing of the past to be reminisced about at parties and secretly cried over in front of pages of photos five or ten years down the line. Like Twelfth Night, As You, Midsummer, and all the rest. Except this was different. This wasn't just another play, this was my last summer Shakespeare show at the bathhouse. Ever. and that is both far sadder than and nowhere near as sad as I think it should be. Somehow.

Tonight we watched Kill Bill volumes one and two. It was fun to be around The Field again. My repartee needs a good deal of sharpening, but it will come back in time.

I start school in less than a month. I'd feel bad, but all of you start in like a week (or tomorrow), so I don't think I'm allowed to complain.

I love way too many people, and some of them I love way too much. Or maybe I've just learned to use love too lightly.

Update: and now my kitty stole all the blankets again. grr.

I have fuzzy pig stickers

and they are amazing. You are probably jealous of them without even realizing it.

I am very afraid of having to do MacBeth twice tomorrow. Yiiikes.

I am loving Eagle*Seagull, even though they are somewhat emo.

Here is a song that is wonderfully happy despite it's shockingly emo name.

Update: Also, hooray.

More and less of the same.

So here I am, once again, at 3:40 in the morning updating my blog because I'm too tired to go to bed. I should have gone to bed hours ago. I also should have lifted weights, read some of my book, and looked over my lines. But, as usual, I got roped up in some stupid game I told myself I wouldn't, and 4 hours later here I am.

I am having trouble committing to a band or playlist to listen to. I think it's time to leave my whole library on random and rediscover all my old music.

Yesterday was wonderful, my plans fell through and I spent the entire day reading my book.

Today Kaya came over with delicious scones. We watched 7 episodes of Desperate Housewives. I am still in awe of that show. We thought it was just going to be trash, but we were wrong. It wasn't just trash, it was AMAZING trash. It was fascinating murder mystery trash. We played a little bit of X Men Legends, but it was kind of slow and we didn't really get into it. We also left several messages on Gabe's cell phone. Gyros and Thomas Kemper. Hooray.

Gabe's care package is turning into a "We wanted to send you a care package but we're disorganized so have a welcome home gift". Fudge still needs to be made.

I am very afraid of this weekend. But more afraid of it ending. Where did the summer go? How can I just have three more performances and a cast party?

I need to buy my Mastadon and Dragonforce tickets. Speaking of which, does anyone wanna go to Dragonforce with me? Zoe can't.

Still lost. Still unsettled. Still determined and drifting. This is going to be a year of changes.
Or at least, it had better be.

Sleep? Pah! I have weights to lift.

Grr

Yesterday was fun. Snakes on a motherfucking plane was too gruesome, but I still enjoyed it. I bought some lovely fantasy book at Barnes and Noble, ate ice cream from Frans, and had a girly movie night. Yay Grey's Anatomy and Shakespeare In Love. Truth or dare. Beanie Baby army. Different and fun.

After the senior show meeting today I ended up going to Chloe's (with Kayla and later Travis). We wanted Just My Luck, but they were out so we got Silent Hill. I probably shouldn't have watched it. Horror movies put me in a dreadful mood. I'm all icky and creeped out and argh.

I feel unsettled. It's time to stop resisting the changes and start rolling with them. Parts of me have overstayed their welcome, and I'm ready to move on.




Hooray for dance pop.

Why am I not in bed?

Hoo boy. I don't even know where to begin. I have way too many things to talk about.

First, MacBeth. Holy jesus MacBeth. This is the most wonderfully terrifying play I've ever done. It's almost as difficult and scary as The Crucible, but fun and amazing to boot. It's probably not the closest-knit cast I've ever been in, but I love everyone at the Bathhouse so much that it doesn't matter. The play completely destroys me, and it's wonderful. Come see it next weekend. Friday at 7:00, Saturday at 2:00 and 7:00. At the Bathhouse, of course.

I hate being attracted to people. I really, really hate it. almost as much as I love it.

My photo taking slowed a bit, but only because I forgot to take my camera with me friday and yesterday. I am torn between wanting to share all of my photos with everyone and wanting to respect the privacy of the people they are mostly of. But oh well.

I've gone from a power metal binge to an awful pop music binge. Hooray for Britney Spears.


Now for the quazi-cryptic poorly phrased emo ranty crap part.

I feel like I'm drifting away from my non-theater friends. Maybe (hopefully!) that will change when I start seeing them every day at school again... but only a few are coming to running start with me. I dunno. I'm trying to keep in touch and find time to do non-theater things, but theater has been so all-consuming this summer... I just don't know. I feel awkward and awful. I'm in such a completely different place in my life than I was a year ago in every sense of the word... I don't know how to handle things anymore. My little comfort zone has blown away like a scarf in a tornado, and as wonderful as it is to be free to do whatever, it's frightening trying to deal with things sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like it's my job to give emotional support to people, and that if I try to take it I'm violating some unspoken contract. Or scared vow. Or being annoying.

Blah. Blah!

Yay lineflubs

Oh full of scorpions is my wife, dear mind.

In a week or two, we will see if this actually works

But even if it doesn't, it still makes me overwhelmingly happy. I ordered The Chronicles of Narnia Radio Theatre Complete Set and A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=54084

Hooray!

A pile of kittens!

Obnoxious photoblog post #2

I have taken exactly 350 pictures over the last two days. After trimming the crap, I still have 125. I do not know what to do with all these pictures. I'm looking for a good site to host them all, but for now I will post a few favorites that do not involve actual human beings, for lack of privacy controls on blogspot.

Update: Photos will be posted on facebook until I find a better way to show them off.

Obnoxious photoblog post #1

Claire got me balloons and made me cookies that were too good to live long enough to take a picture.


The AMAZING Abbey Roth made me an even more AMAZING card. Yay.



Charlotte got me Birdboot, Tony the Wormbeast, and of course my Pocket Yak.

Kaya gave me a delightful gnome. Hubert, I think. She also baked me wonderful brownies, which are in no shape to take a photo of (they were simply too tasty).



My Aunt Dana got me this,


And my parents got me this.


And I took some random photos. Here is my wild kitty.



Here is some random pretty but fuzzy sky.


And here is a plate and a wine glass (and matches). Yeehaw.