I am so,

so sick of the Bathhouse Theater.

I'd say something like "OMG ONLEE 3 MOR WEEKZ", but Arcadia overlaps Jenny Chow. Which overlaps Front Page. Which ends the day before Macbeth.

Jesus Christ, what was I thinking?

Nostalgia can go to hell

Music is shockingly evocative of emotion. Oh Nostalgia, you eat away at me so.
The meta soundtrack was so pretty. And Santaland was surprisingly annoying, but I miss it anyway. Somehow.

I don't think I'm going to get to drop my online class. The stupid professor hasn't emailed me back yet. How do I tell me parents I'm going to get my first F?

FOLKLIFE. Be there or be reduced to outdated geometric adjective slang.

I have no reason to enjoy Alizee as much as I do. None.

Update: Shit. I just found out I missed the centerschool play. Fuck. This is not a good week for Elliott and theater going.

Roosevelt: 2 Me: 1

So, I get to Roosevelt all jittery, Charlotte calls me saying she's getting out, we agree to meet at the doors. I get to the doors... no Charlotte. I meander around for 7 minutes trying still look like a purposeful techie instead of a nervous teenager and ignoring all the looks people are shooting at me (and answering their questions like I actually knew what I was talking about), get nervous, can't walk through the doors, and leave. Because with anxiety disorder, that's just how things go. Good look Rooseveltites. Charlotte, I hope you enjoyed the show.

At least the Arcadia rehearsal was fun.

Update: Since some people (okay, one person) were (was) confused about anxiety disorder, I will explain it. It's like anxiety, only always, for almost everything. Generally only low to moderate levels of anxeity (easy to pretend on the surface like they aren't there), but still anxiety. Like, sometimes I get overly anxious while waiting for the bus. I fidget, pace, twiddle my thumbs, people-watch, constantly check to see if my bus is coming, make sure my transfer or bus pass is there every 2 minutes, and wait for it to go away. However, with certain things, generally things that I've had a bad experence with before, the anxiety goes from what would be mild or moderate anxiety to an average person to intense, crippling levels of anxiety. For example, I get really nervous whenever I have to call someone. Anyone. Even my best friends. I also get nervous when I have to talk to new people. Combine these... well, it took me two and a half hours to work up the courage to call Shana my first time I wanted an audition. and don't even get me started on leaving messages...

My point is, I worry about everything. Telling me not to worry is like telling a schizophrenic to stop hallucinating. That's why it has that handy "disorder" part tacked on. So, when I tried to 'sneak' into the show tonight (the last time I tried that I got yelled at and kicked out), I simply could not walk through the door. So I left.

Jenny Chow, the Play a Part Auction, and other things you don't really care about.

First off, I have a special message to all of you who use AOL instant messenger. This was actually spoken to Anneka (obviously), but really I think many of you could take it to heart:
Cliched AIM Name: Why don't you have a buddy info? What is the point of compulsively checking everyone's buddy info if they don't even bother to have one? YOU ARE DESTROYING MY SYSTEM, ANNEKA.

Jenny Chow is AMAZING. Flying robots. OCD adopted Chinese girl. Dr. Yakunin. The greatest soundtrack to any play ever. You should all comes see it. Thursday, Friday, Saturday at 7:30, Sunday at 2:00. If you wanna see it for free, I can get you work as an usher.

WORKING on Jenny Chow, however, is not amazing. Here is the list jobs I was called in at the last minute to perform:

• Light Techie
  

Here is the list of jobs I actually perform

• Light Techie
• Usher
• Janitor
• Everyone's bitch

The Bathhouse theater is truly a magical place. Where else can one person be so many?
It doesn't help that the booth is roughly 110ºC on a good day. It's like a little private preview of hell.

The world may suck even worse than we think in the nearish future.

The auction was shockingly fun. Shana sang, I directed people with a flashlight to avoid the winch, I heard the same jokes from the adult workers a thousand times, I got to talk with Austin/Charlotte/Kaya/Kayla/Zoe (and to a lesser extent Miranda, Miranda's mom, Fiona and Blake), and we made $1,100 for Arcadia. But the coolest part, for me, was getting my palm read. Here is what I was told to the best of my memory:

1. I am a very dynamic person. I rarely leave anything I interact with unchanged
2. Not only am I very open minded, but I have no problem changing myself to fit new ideas/concepts/morals whatever that are impressed upon me. The downside of this is that I have difficulty figuring out what I really believe and who I really am.
3. I am a leader and have a very strong desire to lead and make decisions.
4. I am very passionate about what I do and very emotional, and tend to make important decisions based off of my emotions and passions. This is bad if you have a temper (oh dear).
5. I want to take a more active leadership role in my world (be that planet, country, school, city, whatever), but am feeling stunted so instead I am taking a more active role in my social life.
6. I will have 4 major relationships in my life. Two of them will be fairly serious, and the one that lasts me the rest of my life won't come until about 40. However, this will be alright because
7. I'm going to get lots of action. Hell yes.

1 is fairly true, 2 through 5 are VERY true, and 7 had better be. I was kind of amazed (okay, REALLY amazed) at how accurate it was while still being pretty darn specific.

Now, before I go on, I just want to say this. As much as organized (and even less-than-organized) religions and I don't get along, I have always had a weird... "fondness" for superstition. I blame fantasy books. So, while I'm certainly not going to freak out over stepping under a ladder, convert to Wicca (not again, at least [don't ask]), or start reading people's auras, I have a healthy respect for things like palm reading, tarot cards, and psychics. Do I believe in them? A part of me does, I think. Or wishes I do. But, belief or no, I at least think this. Even if you think things like palm readers and psychics are all utter bullcrap designed for the sake of taking advantage of the gullible, you cannot argue that they make people stop, even if for just a minute, and think about themselves through all the facades and pretenses. They force people to examine who they really are and why they really do things. And that, I think is something humanity can never get enough of. So, skoff at me if you want for getting so excited over a palm reading, but if I hear any of you making fun of introspection-inducing superstitions I'll bash your skull in with a golf club.

This is the envelope from the "happy-opening" card given to me by Kimber, the amazingly awesome start of Jenny Chow:


This is my nametag from the auction:


Why do we care? Look closely.

Got it?

That's right. My name is spelled correctly on both of them. These are persons four and five to get it right on their first try. Within 4 days of each other.

Spooky.

This has gone on long enough. I will leave you with two futurama quotes.

Leela: "In my dream, Fry said he hid a gift from me in his locker. If it's true, then he must still exist in some form."
Farnsworth: "Of course he still exists. As a frozen corpse in outer space! Oh...I made myself sad."


Leela: "Is this some sort of brain scanner?"
Farnsworth: "Some sort, yes. In France it's called a guillotine."
Leela: "Professor! Can't you examine my brain without removing it?"
Farnsworth: "Yes, easily."

Psych Videos

"Now I use a machete. That's what I do."

It has come to my attention that a menace has been living among us, a menace so horrible that it will leave even the strongest man quailing with fear at the mere glimpse of it. A menace that, left uncheck, will only grow in power. A menace that threatens to undermine the very foundations of of our country as we know it today This, my friends, is why I have formed the group Humanity United Against Philip Zimbardo's Beard (HUAPZB). Please, join us in stopping this monstrosity before it's too late. Unless you want your children growing up in a world with this:

"...I didn't say go."

God I hate doing tech. At least I have Charlotte to talk to, and sometimes Bonnie (who is awesome and getting us into the only Musical performance we'll be able to see).

Naan is deceptively awesome. I have eaten too many Sun Drops. Does anyone want to see a midnight showing of Tron with me this weekend? on Friday, perhaps?

Come see The Intelligent Design of Jenny Chow at the Bathhouse. It'll be playing weekends through mid-june or so. It involves robots and other awesome things. If you're reading this blog, you'll probably like it.

I just realized that I will be doing theater from now through summer nonstop. Jenny Chow overlaps Arcadia which overlaps (I think) Front Page which ends right before Macbeth. I should just turn the perch into a bed, buy a hot plate and get the sink working. Get it over with.

My blog is a constant reminder of my duty to Charlotte. How convenient.

Thanks to Devin and Anneka for informing me

Anyone can comment on any post now. May god help us all.

It seems that

I am doing tech for another mainstage show at the Bathhouse. The Intelligent Design of Jenny Chow.
So, if I drop off the face of the earth, remember me.

I feel a little like this right now.

I can't

stop listening to A-Teens.

For the love of god, someone call for help.

I have a test in 7 hours.

But I'm posting in my blog and not sleeping anyway!

E3 has come, and geekery abounds. World of Warcraft kicks its own lore (that link is perfectly safe, just enter in a random birthday that puts you above 18) in the nuts a few times, but will still make billions. Nintendo has a surprisingly good lineup for the Wheeeeeee! (Wii), and Spore is going to be splendtasticular.

This pretty woman is the inspiration for the new blood elf female dance. These men are the Draenei male, and this well-known man is the blood elf male. The Draenei females don't have a dance yet, because Blizzard is composed of misogynistic bastards.

I feel so geeky. I guess it's time to study.

Edit: this is also mildly amusing. Especially Ozzy.

I am ready for theater to start again.

ATTENTION ALL SAT TAKERS: Brush up on your cursive.
Other than that, they were fairly "meh".

Steven Colbert is awesome: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

Change videos with the bar of colors on the top left. Save pink for last. Be amazed.

I was born 10 years too early

This and/or That.

Events
There was a nice woman on my bus today. She had a big thick gray coat with pink interior, dirty blonde hair tied back into a ponytale, a big scarf, glasses and a hat. We shared a spontaneous smile when our eyes met during our respective peoplewatching. I was just thinking about how rarely people smile on the bus when she started screaming at the driver about not wanting to get her fucking organs taken when the government kills her. She said other things too, but I couldn't hear them from my seat at the back of the bus. She put too much emphasis on her Ss and Ts, it sounded sort of like a snake being strangled to death.

My aunt's birthday last friday was sort of a lesson in awkwardness. My parents were busy, and my cousin I would normally have talked to wasn't there. I miss the years when I could get away with playing my gameboy on the sofa the whole time. I compensated by pretending to have to call people on my cell phone. Does that make me a bad person?

Rylan's party was a breath of fresh air. Seeing people you haven't been able to see in months free of drama is pretty hard to beat. The same goes for letting your libido run free with two good friends in an endless cycle of flirtation. and groping. Honk honk. ...I'm not a pervert. It's an inside joke. Really.

Rambles
I have too many things I want to do. I keep overbooking myself. I should work on a better calendar system. Maybe I'll just start posting my schedule here. That'd help my e-stalkers too (hi Tom). I'm starting to worry about school. I really haven't tried very hard this quarter at all. I've been putting off homework until past 2:00am, and my organizational system is a folder, scribbled notes, and hope. If I keep this up, I'm going to slip somewhere and my grades will tank. The problem is (as Anneka made me realize), I can't work unless I'm scared of the consequences. Each quarter that I've made it through this year has made me a little cockier, and now I'm really feeling the backlash of that. That isn't even going into my online class, which I really want to drop. REALLY want to drop. I just... can't take it. The lack of interaction... it's too much. Or, really, too little. I could make up the credit, but I don't know what it would do to my hopes of taking Japanese again. I might just have to study super hard to relearn what I've forgotten from 101 and start up with 102. Or, take it over the summer as a non-credit course, or something. Hmm, I like the sound of that one. Now to convince my parents to let me drop it...

It is time to start doing things more and talking about doing things less. If you are reading this, I probably want to hang out with you. Call me.

I have found two amazing bands. DragonForce and Asian Kung-Fu Generation. The former is insanely over the top speed metal that sounds like a videogame soundtrack, the latter is just awesome Japanese music. I've uploaded a DragonForce CD for 10 of you, because I'm awesome. It'll go away in 6 days. If you play your cards right, I'll upload some Asian Kung-Fu Generation for you later.

All the cool people are going to see Arcadia June 23rd, 24th, or 25th. Don't you want to be like them? Good. I'll give you show times when I'm sure of them.

Your lips are taste of wine.